How to start over with your spouse
One thing about relationships is that we don’t see our faults, but we see all of our spouse faults. As long you continue to fail to see your own fault, you will always have problem in your own relationship. It is a myth of having a perfect husband or a perfect wife. All perfect relationships are in the eye of the beholder. What I mean with that is, it’s start with you. Sometimes people don’t see their own faults until it is brought to their attention. If you have a good corporative spouse that loves you and is willing to make changes for you, that is good. In most cases, you may have to negotiate with your spouse. I am not insinuating that if you don’t change certain things or behavior that you don’t love your spouse. Make sure that you are not a nagging spouse that expects instant perfection; chances are you have not look in the mirror.
I don’t come near to be perfect because at the end, my wife will not approve what I consider to be perfect. There are some things that I do that my wife wants me to stop doing. I may not be ready to stop or I may never stop because some of these things have a core value to me. If I stop, it may restrict my growth or my future plans.
If things are not working right, you can always start here:
You can by telling your spouse, “I know that I cannot change you or you me vice versa and no one can change anyone except God!”
“I want to be a better husband or wife because I believe it is the will of God”
“If there was something I needed to change, what is it about me you would like me to change?”
Then write it down and start working on it.
Then ask the Lord to show you things that you need to change.
Then write it down and start working on it.
If he or she asks you the same question, what is it you would like me to change?
If you are a woman!
Tell him: Us women, we take everything we bottle it into one emotion.
But this one or two things and tell him.
Be very specific!
Later one, think of things you would like him to change and let him know in love.
Tell him “We should do this often”.
And be patient!
Whether you are a man or a woman, it is very important to be very specific. We tend to bottle things up into one bunch of emotions and be angry without our spouse and at the end we forget why we were mad at them.
I do not recommend for you to keep tap of everything your spouse does wrong so you can use it against him or her, but in some cases to help you remember, you might want to jot down a memo in your journal so you can have something specific.
Also, stop being nitpicking about everything, just live your life and let your spouse live his or her life.
Advertisement
